Divorce is a difficult and emotionally-fraught experience for all involved,but a divorce with children is especially challenging. You do not necessarily trust your soon to be ex spouse so the idea of co-parenting with them may seem daunting.
Co-parenting after a divorce is necessary but both parents will need to adjust to new parenting roles and responsibilities, new living situations, and other changes in the family dynamics. as difficult as it is, it is important to prioritize co-parenting for the sake of your children. Co-parenting is collaboration – working together as a team for the benefit of the wonderful children that your marriage produced.
Here are three co-parenting priorities Redwood City divorce lawyer Bradley Bayan recommends:
Maintain Security and Stability
First of all, it’s important to maintain your child’s sense of security and stability. Your child may feel scared or overwhelmed with the changes that come along with divorce, and it’s important that you provide them with an environment where they feel safe and secure. When you say “Mommy and Daddy both still love you, even if we arent living together anymore,” you have to mean it and show it in word and actions. This means that you should both keep communication open and focused on the children. You should speak respectively to each other especially when around the children.
Also you should not denigrate the other parent to your children as this will make them unsure if they are safe with the other parent. Vent to someone else outside the presence of your children if you have to. Letting your child know that both parents are still there for them is critical for children to feel safe, supported, and loved everyday within a stable environment.
Keep Children Away from Conflict
Second, keeping your child away from conflict is key. No matter how acrimonious your relationship may have become with your spouse, it’s essential that you keep any disagreements away from your child’s ears so as not to further complicate their emotions about the situation. If necessary, limit physical contact between yourself and your former spouse while still maintaining good communication related to parenting decisions. If you and your spouse can be cordial to each other, even better. Friendly co-parenting can mean going to events together such as sporting matches or school recitals, or having both parents at a child’s birthday party. Divorce doesnt mean former spouses are forever enemies. It certainly can mean two adults can agree that the marriage is no longer satisfying the needs of both and you wish the best for your former wife or husband.
Foster Continued Contact
Finally, make sure that both parents stay actively involved in the life of their children despite any logistical changes in living arrangements or schedules caused by the divorce proceedings. Whether you have joint custody or one parent has primary physical custody of the children, ensure that each parent is allowed adequate time with their kids so they can still form lasting loving relationships with both parents. Having regular visits scheduled as well as ample phone calls and Facetime between parents and children will help create a sense of normalcy for everyone involved. It reassures children, that even though this is a new way, that they are loved by both parents no matter what happens after the divorce is finalized.
Schedule a Consultation With a Redwood City Divorce Lawyer
Bradley Bayan is a Redwood City divorce lawyer who has helped and encouraged his clients with children through their divorce. He will help you work out custody, child support, and visitation schedules so that after your divorce there will be less opportunity for fighting or disputes. The three priorities should be at the forefront of everyone’s minds as you work out the details of your divorce settlement. It will save you money and heartache. We serve clients in Redwood City as well as San Jose, Oakland, Belmont, Burlingame, Menlo Park, Foster City, San Carlos, Stanford and nearby communities.
If you need a Redwood City Divorce lawyer, contact the Law Offices of Bradley Bayan at (650) 364-3600 to schedule a free consultation.
